Socialist Seeks Urgent Toilet Paper Bailout

Posted January 4th, 2015 by Iron Mike

Imagine the angst and chagrin of being a ‘duly elected dictator’ of an OPEC Nation – 31% bigger than Texas,  and 51 times bigger than Kuwait, – only to be unable to supply your 29,000,000 people with the rudimentary basics – like toilet paper.Quest for Charmin
President Nicolás Maduro Moros inherited the mantle of thug-enforced power upon the death of the parrot-brained Hugo Chavez. But he has none of the bravado or street smarts of the little thug. He’s finding out the hard way that just ordering folks around – and shooting them if they resist – isn’t bring prosperity to his land.

Oil BaronsAnd now even Venezuelan oil isn’t fetching any decent prices – thanks to US companies fracking tar sands in the Dakotas.  Suddenly he’s not an oil baron anymore.

What’s a dictator to do…?

Well, he ~ could ~ try making a deal with Obama, – but it seems that the Castro Brothers in Cuba have just grabbed that action. Drat!

Who’s left?   Russia and China!   But Russia’s having the same problems with falling oil prices, – so that leaves China….

Beijing 2013

Off to ChinaSo President Maduro is off to see his old Chinese buddy Xi Jinping.

They’ve met several times – in Beijing in 2013 and in Caracas last year.

Jinping wants air and naval bases – pointed at the vulnerable and undefended southern flank of the United States.

Caracas 2014

Venezuela stratigic location

He’s been courting several Latin American countries, – and he’s very patient. Now the Chinese Spider welcomes the Venezuelan Fly… He’s likely to get his naval bases for the price of Charmin,…and indirectly paid for with US Dollars.

Obama's Fools

So Democrats, you still thinking that Obama,  Susan Rice,  Hillary, and John Kerry are strategic and diplomatic geniuses?

3 Responses to “Socialist Seeks Urgent Toilet Paper Bailout”

  1. Walter Knight

    Venezuela can’t make light bulbs either, so let them stay in the dark until they finally shoot the dictator.

    Venezuela also can’t refine its particular grade of oil. That can only be done economically in America. Go ahead, trade oil to China, see if it gets the dictator good press and a photo-op at home, Venezuela is doomed as long as communists run the country.

  2. Hawk1776

    Don’t underestimate China. China is everywhere, Africa, the Caribbean, now maybe South America. It’s a slow, nefarious process, but it’s happening. It’s not a concern at the moment, but it will be in five, ten or twenty years.

  3. Jim Gettens

    Maduro’s a real Lefty–now reduced to wiping with his left hand.
    By the way, have you ever watched Obama sign legislation? He’s a Lefty too! And how much toilet paper do you think there was in his part of Kenya when he was a kid?