OBummer’s VP Conundrum

Posted May 28th, 2009 by Iron Mike

Joe Biden was intended to add a veneer of middle-class white camouflage to the Kenyan-born bastard child running as a “Democrat”.  He did that, but now seems to be overstaying or outliving his welcome.  This is presenting Barack OBummer with a very sticky conundrum.

Back on August 23rd, when The Messiah used a midnight text message to announce his pick of the Senate’s Village Idiot – Senator Joe “Lyin’ Lips” Biden – as his running mate,  I knew exactly what was happening. 

First, the puppet masters wanted an old white guy – with white hair – to reassure any remaining white voters.  Among liberals, Biden was viewed as a foreign policy expert, despite decades of being totally wrong on issue after issue.  See, appearances matter far more to liberals than do facts. 

Second, – they wanted essentially an empty vessel, – someone who would bring no issues, agendas, causes, or crusades of their own.  They could not have found an emptier vessel had they gone to the Delaware Psychiatric Center (DPC) at New Castle.  By taking “Go-along Joe”, they would lose no real Democratic clout in the Senate, and they’d have an almost totally malleable fool.  And a disposable / expendable one at that!

To those who follow the news, – it was instantly clear that OBummer and his puppet-masters hadn’t burnt any calories fretting over what kind of president their pick might make in the event he suddenly might need to be sworn in.  Biden has always been considered such a flyweight that the press generally ignores him.  The OBummer campaign undoubtedly considered that a big plus.

The real power in Delaware – the many big corporations which claim it as home – had always known Biden as an extremely affordable servant, who for only nominal coin would do their legislative bidding.

Adding Biden to the ticket brought a small unexpected bonus.  Joe had been repeatedly escaped close scrutiny and been re-elected to the Senate largely on the sympathy vote.  His first wife Neilia and infant daughter Naomi were killed in a traffic accident in December 1972, and Joe has skated through thirty-six years of political blunders and financial shenanigans by constantly evoking the memory of his dead family.  In the final months of the 2008 campaign it now served to deflect close scrutiny from Obama’s past.

And so it came to pass that Joe fulfilled his first critical assignment, – that of lending a mainstream American veneer to the Kenyan Usurper.  Central Casting couldn’t have come up with a more perfectly coifed and costumed buffoon.

But since being sworn in, “Lovable Joe” has committed one goof after another.  Yesterday he was brazen enough to actually ridicule OBummer’s need for teleprompters.  So there just aren’t enough isolated Third World countries to send Joe to – to keep him away from TV cameras and microphones.  Somehow he’ll have to be neutered or silenced.  But how?

There are three time-honored ways to eliminate a political liability.  They can die.  Clinton fundraiser and Commerce Secretary Ron Brown was being investigated when his plane crashed in Bosnia.  So many Clinton cronies died that it was called Arkancide.  They can resign for health reasons.  They get a dinner and a plaque, and they go home to recover, – and to never write their memoirs.  Or they can have tax and ethics scandals, and resign “so as not to distract from the noble work of this administration”, – as did VP Spiro Agnew in 1973. 

So pick a method, and just toss “Lovable Joe” under the OBummer bus.  Easy, right?

Err, – not so fast.  Unlike Agnew, “Lovable Joe” won’t go easily, – and certainly not quietly!  That’s precisely why he’s in trouble in the first place. So two of the elimination methods are fraught with risk.  Once Joe starts talking, the press is sure to pick up the thread.  Plane crash?  Gee, – two Democrat administrations in a row?  What are the odds? 

Of course the real conundrum is the replacement VP issue.  We can well imagine that OBummer would prefer to operate minus the inconvenient baggage of a vice president tagging along demanding to be included in meetings and secrets.  After all, who to pick that would not distract from HIS personal glory?  I can easily imagine Hillary and Pelosi and even Kerry going at each other’s throats for the spot.  [Aah, let me enjoy that image for a moment!]  But very few would be comfortable with Pelosi suddenly second in line.  Shudder!  Across Washington the jousting and elbowing for position would make a British soccer stadium look like an art gallery.

After watching OBummer burn through trillions of dollars in just weeks, – a Veep vacancy would be just the thing for the GOP to use to slow our slide into Socialism.  The Republicans in the Senate would bring everything to a grinding halt – with the filibuster of course – until The Messiah named a replacement Veep, – and they would insist on a conservative Democrat.  That is a very short list anymore.

Meanwhile, – whatever happens to eliminate Biden, – you can be sure that the once co-conspiratorial press will suddenly awaken from its journalistic coma and come alive.  Hordes of reporters wearing rediscovered journalistic righteousness will scurry across the land from Virginia to the Delaware Memorial Bridge to dig up all those carefully buried Biden-Obama stories.  Their quest will be for the scoop, the Pulitzer, and the movie script.  And all too soon, the return of the Special Prosecutor!  Hey, newspapers might start selling again. 

So OBummer’s Conundrum is to either keep putting up with Motor-Mouth Joe, – or find a way to silence and eliminate him without providing the very thread which will unravel his presidency.  Given OBummer’s noted successes thus far with the Taliban, Iran, Pakistan, North Korea, Russia, and Venezuela, this should be a relatively easy one.  Stay tuned!

   /s/  Iron Mike
   Old Soldier, – Still Good for Parts!

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