Identifying Your Democrats

Posted September 2nd, 2012 by Iron Mike

There are many types of Democrats – which ones live near you?

Big Labor Democrats – stuck between1880 – 1955 – thinking the only way to even the playing field is to elect politicians who will hogtie industrialists.  Governments of China and India thank them every day. Specialize in looting union trust funds – often seen wearing pinkie rings.  Use union dues to buy any Democrat they want.

Socialist Democrats – who hate the rich – believe they MUST HAVE stolen their money somewhere along the line.  Determined to tax it away from them – would like to seize major industries – like oil companies and car manufacturers.

Do-Gooder Democrats – who want to feed, clothe, and imprison the poor – so they’ll keep voting for Democrats.  Special attention to inner-city minorities.  These are the overseers of the Democratic Voter Plantation. [sometimes called Poverty Pimps]

College Campus Democrats – went to college and now know ‘everything there is to know.  Have never made a living in the private economy, – but are experts on it.  Have become badly inbred as a result of restricted breeding [and too many abortions]; heavy drug use has produced a high number of special-needs offspring.

Left-over Hippie Democrats – still stuck somewhere between Chicago ’68 and Woodstock – still pissed at Johnson and Nixon over Vietnam – brains dulled by 45 years of doing drugs – – men usually still wear pony tails, women don’t shave their legs, and wear sandals near year-round.  Tend to drive mini-vans.  Would have surrendered NYC to Usama bin Laden rather than fight.

Earth-Mother Democrats – believe the Earth will either flood [or burn up] without strict government regulation, and of course wind power and ethanol.  Usually seen driving tiny imported hybrid cars.  Many refuse to use deodorants.

Single-Agenda Advocate Democrats – legalize marijuana – free abortions – gay marriage – end the death penalty – amnesty for illegals – cancer research – mental illness – special needs children – prevent animal cruelty – gun grabbers – – they sound like broken records.  Most cannot discuss ANY issue other than their pet peeve.

Liberal Jewish Democrats – socialist tradition trumps common sense – will donate and vote for Obama even if they KNEW he was going to give Egypt and Iran ten nuclear warheads each.

Yacht /Mansion /Private Jet /Country Club Democrats – like Ted Kennedy, Walter Cronkite, and John Kerry – who talk a good game but keep most of their money off-shore.

Government Employee Democrats – who got hired because their aunt or uncle got elected…still haven’t figured out how to fill up a 7-hour day.  Many in government unions.  Brag about ‘three generations working for the city’. Indifferent about budget deficits or debt, always vote for bigger budgets and over-rides, – but live in fear of Republicans downsizing government.

Needy Little Piglet Democrats – dumbed down and coddled through school by union teachers – terrified of living on their own abilities – looking for government assistance at every step of their lives [i.e. Obama’s ‘Julia’].  Always looking for free stuff – housing, medical care, tuition, FEMA and EBT cards.

Lifelong Sucker Democrats– who actually believe all the ‘stuff’ they’re told by the groups above, – and keep on voting to keep them in power – without EVER seeing any improvement. Still keep JFKs photo on the mantle.

These SUCKERS don’t even pay attention to politics – actually believe Democrats care about them.  Hold strong opinions about American Idol, – cannot name their town selectmen or their congressman.  Cannot explain the difference between the Deficit and the Debt

Dead Democrats – faithfully vote every election!

2 Responses to “Identifying Your Democrats”

  1. Jim

    Ha, ha, that is an awesome list. I especially like the Dead Democrats. I’d like to include spousal/family Democrats – “Well that’s who my Father always voted for.”. Probably could be a subset of Lifelong Subset Democrats. Should probably add Racist Democrats who just vote along there race lines.

  2. Kojack

    Speaking of the dead, I’ve noticed that dead people (as well as felons, the homeless, illegal immigrants and other such categories of ineligables) always vote for Democrats.
    Ironically enough you have to show a photo ID to get into the DNC.