The following is an attempt to help ObamaDolts and Kool-Aid drinkers explain their reasoning and positions about ObamaCare. Given their current prolific misuse of English words and phrases, – this may help save our language – for awhile.
Repeat after me: “I [state your name] ______________ do solemnly swear that I have not read HR 3200. But I have been fully assured by either ACORN, MoveOn.org, or HCAN that everything I want is “in there”, and they’ve told me none of that bad stuff those evil Republicans are trying to scare me with is there, – so I fully support ObamaCare because I want to help my fellow man and I want to feel good about myself. So help me Obama!” (Obama is my new man-God.)
I am willing to see America enact National Socialized Medicine [heretofore called “Public Option” and “Single Payer”] – because I’m not scared of socialism. I want the government to take care of me, – it will be easier than studying the issues, thinking for myself, or actually being involved in my own decisions. Life will be way more fun without the worry.
I’m sure we’ll easily find all the extra doctors, nurses, technicians and staff we’ll need, – even if we have to issue Medical Green Cards and strip Canada, Europe and the developing countries of their meager medical staffs. OK by me!
I’m not at all worried about dumbing down or destroying America’s premier health care system. I just don’t believe all those stories about waiting lines and lists in Canada, Britain, and Europe. And what the hell, I wait in line at the Post Office, – so what?
I refuse to listen to those scare tactics about the VA Death Book or the end-of-life counseling. I just want to feel good inside, and forcing this new system on Republicans and the elderly makes me feel really good.
And since unemployment is currently so high, what better use for the hundreds of thousands of unemployed people but to have them work in Obama’s new Department of Medical Administration! I see this as a win-win deal. Unemployment over, – medical coverage for everybody! Just thinking about this makes me feel good.
And best of all, – I’ll get to keep my own doctor, – even if there is a long line to see him. That’s only fair. And I really trust Obama and Pelosi on this one. They’ve never lied to me yet! (I think they only lie to Republicans, but who can really blame them?).
And I’m totally not worried about what all this will cost. Hey, my 401K has been hammered, and I’m still doing OK, – so what’s another trillion or so? It will be offset by me not having to buy my own insurance anymore. I won’t even feel it coming out of my paycheck. This feels good already.
Although I’ve never visited a VA Hospital or a USPHS facility on an Indian reservation, I’m sure that national health care will be just as good as it is now in my home town – hey, maybe even better, and certainly cheaper.
And I think ACORN would be a fine outfit to run the Department of Medical Administration. Look what a great job they did getting Obama elected! I bet they’ll set up some really spiffy nursing homes too!
Finally I’d like to thank those guys at RabidRepublicanBlog for taking the time to help me put my inner feelings into words. The truth has set me free! I feel much much better now.
Instructions: Print out and sign this form, and mail it to Nancy Pelosi. You might earn points or win a prize.