You drank my Kool-Aid, – now pay my taxes!
Party Hardy Tonight MoonBats – you’ve got some checks to write – payable to ‘Turbo-Tax’ Timmy.
And believe me – I need the money.
Just look at all the stuff I need to spend it on:
Legal assistance, EBT cards and tuition for illegals [er, undocumented Democrats].
Kickbacks to my campaign contributors – thinly disguised as ‘Green Energy Loans’. Too bad so many went bankrupt in the past three years – but what the heck – I’m not embarrassed. I can’t be – I won a ‘Mandate’ from the low information voters. They loved me on The View!
Welfare and Unemployment checks to all my impoverished and unemployed newly discovered lifetime Democratic Party activists. 48 million and growing!
Fuel and maintenance on Air Force One.
Allah-be-Praised, I love that airplane! They put a vibrating seat aboard for me!
Vacations and maintenance on Princess Michelle and the Girls. The more I can get them out of town, the more time I have for my secret friends.
With my buddy John Roberts in my pocket, I can pretty much do what I want to by Executive Order. Who knew a ball point pen could be so powerful? Time to pretend to reward my Union Buddies. They think they’ve just bought a president. I love this game of courtship, backstab, and betrayal.
When hospitals start failing under ObamaCare, I’ll buy them too – with taxpayer $$. And make them all union-run of course.
I want to buy some newspapers in my second term. As their circulation falls, – I’ll deem them ‘too important to fail’ – and ‘bail them out’. Then I’ll decide who gets to be White House reporters.
I am sooo tired of so-called journalists who don’t know how to kowtow to me. I miss Helen Thomas.
I will be cutting the military. I’ll call it ‘budget cutting’, and the Kool-Aid drinkers will drink it up. I’m really weakening the country so the Mexicans and the Muslims can take it over in a decade or two.
I’ll just keep around enough lackeys and generals to salute me every day. It makes me feel important after Michelle gets done with me.
And just watch me screw veterans out of their retirement pay and health care!
You can bet I’ll enjoy forcing the Catholics to pay for birth control and abortion. I never liked them, – in their fancy robes.
But hey Suckas – I’ve had a real rush [pardon the pun Rush] playing with the heartstrings of Republicans this year.
They actually thought they had a chance with Mittens, particularly after he chose the boy scout as his running mate. Should’a gone with Allen West. Can you believe I went with Biden again? Seems he appeals to low-information voters.
They really should’a known Soros and I weren’t taking any chances with low-information voters. First we called the TEA Party guys ‘racists’. That always works. Then we had the election machines rigged in advance.
Now I’ve got to start thinking about where to build my Presidential Library [and Mosque]. Should it be in Hawaii, or Chicago, or maybe Cambridge? Since you’re going to pay for them, – maybe I should build three?
And I’ve got to start thinking about what I’ll do after 2016, – when Michelle will take over here and I’ll need an appropriate hobby. Think I should market my own line of golf clubs and attire?
I was thinking of a line of golf carts – built on the Chevy Volt chassis.
Meanwhile, I’ll be having the Department of Just-US and Homeland Security begin rounding up all your ‘assault rifles’. I’ve got so many friends in Mexico and Syria who need them. Can’t let a crisis like Sandy Hook go to waste, and I want the population generally disarmed before they hit the streets like the Greeks.
Happy New Year Suckas!